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Wells Street Journal: Welcome to the first issue of Monkey Marketing

The Ukip conference can be a strange affair. Last year’s memorable event in Westminster saw former financial services spokesman Godfrey Bloom call a room full of women “sluts” and attack Channel 4 journalist Michael Crick with a rolled up magazine.

This year’s gathering took place at Doncaster racecourse and with Nigel Farage putting a rocket up the Westminster establishment, Her Majesty’s press was out in force – including your very own Money Marketing correspondent.

When entering the racecourse, the MM hack asked for his media pass from the Ukip press officer.

“Oh, yes I know you,” she said. “You’re from Monkey Marketing.”

Unwilling to lose the chance of entering the momentous conference, your devious hack kept shtum until he was safely inside.

Even without Bloom the Ukip conference had its more surreal moments, such as the sale of Ukip disco balls and the presence of Neil Hamilton – but monkeys?

The WSJ has tried and failed to find out who this fierce new rival to our sister title could possibly be.

To be certain it is not missing a crucial segment of the market, MM has confirmed to the WSJ it will be focusing more editorial on primates.

Next week’s issue will have a special cover feature on how the Government must stop tinkering with monkey policies. There will also be a new section on lame industry efforts to make monkey fees more transparent. 

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