Wells Street Journal: HMT ‘not responsible’ for money

The Treasury has an astonishing new set of responsibilities, which don’t monitoring government funds, the Wells Street Journal can reveal.

After intense pressure from a hack at WSJ sister title Money Marketing, one Whitehall insider blurted out to a hack that cash was no longer the focus of the Government’s erstwhile bank vault.

“It’s not the Treasury’s job to keep track of all the money!” they exclaimed, as a journalist tried in vain to figure out if, indeed, the Treasury possessed an calculator.

The removal of any monetary role from the Treasury marks a continuation of Prime Minister David Cameron’s amusing performance art piece, The Appointment of a Grotesquely Inappropriate Cabinet.

The performance was kickstarted by the appointment of homeopathy fan Jeremy Hunt to lead the Department for Health in 2012 before a hilarious second act saw the PM name a second successive equalities minister who had voted against same sex marriage.

Rumours abound that Cameron is building to a grand climax, in which Boris Johnson will land an important role in government, athough observers have derided such a move as “ridiculous” and “unbelievable”.