While most delegates at the Labour Party conference swanned from one exclusive hotel buffet to the next, others were not so lucky.
The Diary hears that the girls from Polhill had to resort to stealing napkins from restaurants because of the lack of towels provided in their hotel. Their salubrious accommodation, located right next to Brighton amusements, made Fawlty Towers look like the Hilton.
The team from Cicero Consulting on the next floor up dec-ided not to approach the showers for fear of contamination.
Both groups of guests forced themselves to stay out to all hours schmoozing with Labour bigwigs and quaffing Moet to avoid returning to the Bates Motel.