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The Advisers’ Prayer

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Over the past eight years we have had a new regulatory system, structural reform of banks, untold regulations from Europe, the retail distribution review and a handful of inquiries into banking.

All of it intended to curb the excesses of the City that has seen billions of pounds paid out in compensation over misselling.

Well, today the final piece of that puzzle has been proposed: the Bankers’ Oath.

The think-tank ResPublica reckons it will help deal with problems in the industry if – along with a few other, more substantial recommendations – bankers are required to swear “on their honour” that they will, among other things, do their best for consumers, “confront profligacy and impropriety” wherever they see it, and remember they “remain a member of society”. So far, so Scouts.

The idea comes from Holland, where bankers are required by their trade association to “swear that I will do my utmost to preserve and enhance confidence in the financial services industry. So help me God.” I am not making this up. It is all in ResPublica’s report.

So, here at Money Marketing we thought we’d have a go at writing the Advisers’ Prayer.

Our regulator, which art in Canary Wharf.

Martin be thy name.

Thy supervisors come.

Thy will be done.

For fear of losing authorisation.

Please reform our fees,

As we fund the MAS and guidance which competes against us.

And deliver us from temptation,

By removing commission.

For thine is the rulebook,

The power to ban products and issue fines,

Until the next regulatory restructure,

Amen.

Feel free to have a go yourself in the comments section below.

Steve Tolley is political reporter at Money Marketing.

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Comments

There are 3 comments at the moment, we would love to hear your opinion too.

  1. E L Wisty (an only twin) 29th July 2014 at 4:24 pm

    Most amusing. Although our holy regulator is more in line with the Old Testament’s fire and brimstone deity, rather than the kaftan and sandals version, depicted in the New Testament.

    What they all have in common, however, is that – despite how much we might pray – no one’s listening …….

  2. I wonder what the Archbishop of Annuities will think of that !!!!!!!!

  3. Our Jupiter, which art in Chelmsford
    Duffield was thy name
    We have been done
    By thy trail commission con
    ‘cos we dared to move a client in June
    give us our dues you stingy lot
    and pay them darn quickly
    for we will don’t forgive those who trespass against us
    and you aren’t as indispensable as you may think
    Goodbye!

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