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Pirates will be sunk if they try to take on IFAs

Ahoy there, all ye PIMS revellers, a bank beating a good IFA at his own game? Shiver me timbers. A black spot from a banker? I’ll show ye where to stow yer hook, matey.

Having watched the “big” firms stumble about over the last 20 years I can only offer them one piece of advice, do not underestimate the power of an IFA’s client bank because it is not a chest full of pieces of eight that can be easily stolen by pirates.

IFAs build long-term relationships rather than impose the short-term targets that are the cause of many “scandals”, some of which are never made public.

If anyone thinks that IFAs are going to be walking the plank to Davy Jones’ locker any time soon, they are as mistaken as they have been during all previous attempts to board the good ship Independent Advice.

I can remember the direct-sales pirates predicting the demise of IFAs when regulation kicked off in 1987, then we managed to get the buyer’s guide introduced. Do you remember that one? It involved all those salespeople giving Joe Public a leaflet which told him he would be be better off going to an IFA.

It was the only piece of paper they did not restock and it got the chop for obvious reasons. Despite all the obstacles placed in our way by those who want to be rid of us, we still command the higher ground and all around it and anyone who predicts that is going to change soon must be three sheets to the wind or is it four?

Just imagine what would happen if IFAs got together and turned this hideous anti-IFA vessel around? Let’s weigh anchor, Ah-har, Jim lad! Let’s hole them below the waterline.

Oops, I got carried away and forgot who the real pirates and their Kraken ally were for one moment.

Evan Owen


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