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Out of context for 2002

•Venice, ah the scent of death – there&#39s nothing like a bit of death for us enhanced annuity boys.” – Britannic Retirement solutions head of communications Jim Boyd on a romantic weekend

•”The person you need to speak to is at the vet with his wife. Sounds ominous.” – Barclaycard spokesman Ian Barber

•”An IPA? What is that?” – An FSA press officer says it all

•”I have suggested to Keith Carby that we buy FT Business so we can get some good stories about ourselves.” – Inter-Alliance corporate relations manager Charles Ansdell

•”I will buy a drink for the first person who can guess who gave me one last Christmas.” – Gartmore China growth fund manager Margaret Gaddow

•”I have just had six pints of Guinness and three glasses of wine, can I call you after I have relieved myself?” – Anonymous mortgage expert feels the pressure

•”A couple of people said I looked like Richard III.” – Prudential national mortgage manager John Malone explains why he shaved off his beard

•”I can&#39t even remember my wife&#39s name. How am I supposed to remember yours?” – Malone again

•”You should never invest in a company unless it is capable of being run by monkeys.” – Hargreaves Lansdown managing director Peter Hargreaves (who is happy to keep his stake in the company)

•”I am a 70-year old IFA who is being asked to take an exam after 30 years in practice with no complaints. What should I do.” – Conference delegate

•”Don&#39t take out any 10-year savings policies.” – Institute of Financial Planning chief executive Nick Cann

•”They&#39re a sub-prime lender so they&#39ll charge you more for your drinks.” – Mortgageforce managing director Rob Clifford to MM reporter going to the football with Sun Bank

•”I wouldn&#39t do it in a pub car park with just concrete underneath me.” NU press officer Louise Zucchi reflects on bungee jumping

•”I have just spilled tea over my desk but its OK because I have just wiped it up with a secretary.” NU marketing director Robert Fletcher

•”In the North we only eat chips, feral pigeons and any roadkill we pick up on the way to the carpark.” – Positive Solutions PR Alistair Mitchell of Mitchell Halton Watson

•”After Sandler and Pickering, they have taken such a licking there is no more left to come” Scottish Life head of communications Alasdair Buchanan on the plight of IFAs.

•”This champagne is more like cat&#39s pee than AMP.” – CIS press officer Alison Richardson being less than co-operative about some free bubbly from Australian rival AMP

•”We like Standard Life, they take all the flak off us.” – Richardson again on the esprit de corps of the mutuals

•”Please don&#39t make me describe him, there are a lot of people around and it will only make me giggle.” Scottish Widows press officer about new boss Robert Wylie

•”Walk backwards and we won&#39t see your bald patch.” Host Ruby Wax to Britannic Money chief executive Tony Ward at the Imla dinner

•When you are up to your arse in alligators, you have to remember the point was to drain the swamp – Kangley Financial Planning managing director Geoff Kangley on the subject of endowments

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