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Out of context

“While we are talking, one of my colleagues has walked over to my desk and quite unashamedly stolen money from under my nose.”
Hargreaves Lansdown’s Tom McPhail is punished for attempting to balance £50 notes on his top lip

“If it wasn’t for you guys I’d be spending all my money on sweets and prostitutes.”
Comedian Chris Addison thanks the UK fund management industry for losing his money at a recent event

“I have the attention span of a small child or a dog.”
Aegon PR Brian Lewis explains to an MM hack why he left a conversation mid-sentence

“Before you start worrying about cost, they came over here.”
The FSA’s Colin Wilcox pre-empts any questions from delegates at a Defaqto conference about a meeting with the New Zealand regulator

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