“I’m wearing magic pants.” “Omigod, I’m wearing magic pants, too.”

Women in the toilets at the IMA dinner

“I stood there on the podium while Michael Johnson cried his eyes out. Right then, it didn’t matter that I’d come second.”

Former British athlete Roger Black at a Scottish Widows’ party, on losing at the 1996 Atlanta Olympics

“You’ve got two women pawing at your face. If that’s what happens when you grow a beard, I might just try it myself.”

Thisismoney.co.uk reporter and erstwhile MM features editor Phil Scott to Beardsley

“We must stop meeting in toilets.”

Gartmore PR Kimberley Robinson to an MM hack