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Ice cream stockpiles and Brexit satire: The Wells Street Journal

Fancy an ice cream?
As a big fan of the white chocolate Magnum, WSJ was pleased to hear consumer goods giant Unilever has taken matters into its own hands ahead of Brexit.

It says it has gone to extreme lengths to preserve the fancy ice cream following a flurry of recent news reports detailing the foods that might no longer be readily available in the UK after 29 March. An article in The Guardian last week said Magnum owner Unilever has “stockpiled” the Belgian-made ice creams in case of Dover’s port closing.

WSJ isn’t sure priorities are in order, given that the future of Magnums is about the only definite for the UK looking ahead to April.

Open goal for satirists
Australian satirical newspaper The Betoota Advocate has offered its take on Brexit. Though the nation’s royal commission into misconduct in financial services has given the Sydney paper plenty of ammunition, its journalists have taken aim at the UK, outlining the EU divorce from the perspective of a “self-described Brexit expert working in a French quarter architecture practice”: Scotch finger biscuit enthusiast Connor Dallhasse. In addition to suggesting Theresa May fall on her sword and take a private sector job for a few years, the fictional Dallhasse says the UK could benefit from mandatory euthanasia at 64. WSJ shudders to think what would happen on a personal level, given the potential threat to Money Marketing’s existence should those over 64 be moved to greener pastures…

Out of context

‘Flatulent…’

Zero Support managing partner Phil Young is prompted by Money Marketing to describe the current state of the advice profession in one word

‘Have you ever had a chocolate? You nibble and nibble and, before you realise it, there’s nothing left…’

Dunstan Thomas’s Adrian Boulding on the dangers of partial transfers

‘I thought you were on something for a minute…’

Sesame’s John Cowan briefly misinterprets a comment from a Money Marketing journalist

Separated at birth

Australian actress Toni Collette

CATS consultant Sarah Whitelock
Send your suggestions to @mm_wsj.

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