Standard Life corporate affairs team – shame on you. The MM news team recently received some very useful information from Standard, allegedly.Accompanying the covering letter from Standard, advising the hacks that they had received their card of press contacts, was in fact, an empty envelope. What a waste of postage. We could do with another list sending over. Cheers. “Computer says ‘Noooooo’.” Hamptons International Mortgages’ Jonathan Cornell frustrated by some lenders’ systems. “Listening to that much bullsh*t can’t be good for anyone!” ABG’s Richard Brand on mortgages”This is serious now, who’s stolen my trousers?” MM’s former news editor John Greenwood. “I guess my leaving page will be full of references to the size of my head.” Greenwood again. “Don’t they look like that odd couple from Little Britain?” Aegon’s Adrian Cammidge on the new crack PR team of Richard Wheat and Andrew Appleyard.