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Eastender no match for pundits

After-dinner speakers at football matches are usually a low-rent assortment of booze-addled ex-players and past-it comedians but the hospitality organisers at the recent Champions League clash between Arsenal and Chelsea at Highbury decided to buck this trend with the frankly bizarre decision to employ Janine from Eastenders as a pre-game pundit.

After being introduced by Stewpot from Grange Hill, Janine – still chewing on the remnants of her meal – addressed the audience in the riveting manner of someone who had agreed to mumble some inanities into a microphone for two minutes in exchange for free tickets.

The highlight came when Stewpot, in risqu… children&#39s presenter gone-blue mode, asked Janine to detail her real-life history, prompting the lovely lady to squeal delightedly “I&#39ve been a prostitute” while beaming from ear to ear. Pure class.

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