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Correspondent&#39s Week

Monday: Down to Earth Productions Presents: BUMP!

Not much more than a fortnight ago, I was sitting in a boat five miles off

the Pacific coast of Costa Rica with a fishing rod in one hand, a cold beer

in the other and not an iota of a smidgen of a molecule of a care in my

head at the end of a month&#39s holiday following my departure from the

editor&#39s chair of this august organ.

And so here we are: I begin my first week as

editor-in-chief at probably one of the busiest companies in the country.

There are about 115 people sitting in a carpeted football pitch above

Smithfield meat market working faster than one-armed jugglers with

intolerable eczema.

I may have possibly the first suntan my virtually translucent Celtic flesh

has ever managed to sustain but it wins me no favours here. No one is laid


“What are we going to do about the forward-facing WAP uplink sprocket

interface, Steve?” says person-I-have

just-been-introduced-to-whose-name-I-have-instantly-forgotten. What can you

do when you would not know what to do with a forward-facing WAP uplink

sprocket interface if it ran up and savaged your leg?

“I&#39ll look into it.”, I say. It is difficult to be authoritative when

muttering through your teeth. However, as I settle down to my new role at

Interactive Investor I reflect on what an enormous project lies ahead, that

is, the creation, animation and sustenance of a high-quality online

editorial team much like a sort of virtual Frankenstein&#39s Journalist.

I muse, too, that it is nice to be in the bosom of a genuine revolution.

There is something refreshing about a room full of people bereft of a

single Luddite. I mean, think about it, it was not such a long time ago

that the only bloke you knew who had ever learned even to type was the

custody sergeant at your local nick.

It is an unusual feeling for journalists, who spend their lives as

voyeurs, surreptitiously eyeballing world events from darkened, musty

crannies, scribbling down what is usually generously termed the first draft

of history.

Well. Not me. No siree. I&#39m not going to watch the revolution on digital

television and as soon as I find out what a forward-facing WAP uplink

sprocket interface is, I&#39ll slide on my armband and man the barricades with

the rest of my e-comrades.

Tuesday: The mastodon Microsoft (we are not worthy) loses its court case

in the US, ruining everyone&#39s breakfast from Guam to Godalming. But global

market shakedown ensues. Overnight, Nasdaq has thrown a wobbly and TMT

stocks are taking a bigger kicking than a foxhunter at an eco-warrior

rally. Trading screens are red with the blood of the glorious casualties of

Great Dotcom Revolution. Stand fast, siblings, stand fast.

Wednesday: Farce Over Elbow Productions Presents: Carry On Trading.

Or not, because someone at the London Stock Exchange was playing Tomb

Raider 12 on the dealing system overnight and Lara Croft has gone on a

drink-fuelled gun rampage inside the computer&#39s silicon bits, causing the

entire market to be shut until exactly one hour after Nasdaq opens, giving

all the stocks a bit of a breather and time for investors to regain their

bottle and click on Hold. Lovely jubbly.

LSE registers domain name, chief executive Gavin Casey

announces IPO setting off fresh technology sector speculation.

Thursday: Even e-revolutionaries have got to have meetings. Meetings –

that greatstaple of the British comm- ercial diet. Unfortunately, my diary

is bereft of even one.

Feeling left out, call up Sunday Telegraph personal fin ance scribbler and


MM hack Gary Parkinson. Discuss dotcom collapse over lunch and decide

article should be written on above for following issue. Rather, I decide –

he acquiesces when I pay for lunch.

Friday: Meetings pick up again, bringing relief all round. First is with

iii&#39s public relations firm Luther Pendragon. They discuss how many journal

ists they are going to be pestering in our name over the following week and

do we have any nuggets of news with which to pester?

I chip in instantly that our forward-facing WAP uplink sprocket interface

is up and running and PR executives flush with excitement at forthcoming

national newspaper editorial. Whoever said technology was dull?


Julian Gibbs

The eTechnology venture capital trust has been launched with the intentionof investing in technology trusts and shares following the recent sharpdecline in prices.It qualifies for 20 per cent income tax relief and 40 per cent capitalgains tax roll-over relief, with both profits and dividends being free oftaxInitially, it will be invested 100 per cent in […]

Bupa International is….

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Alliance poaches new boss from Lloyds TSB

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Contender for London mayor is backing IFAs

Liberal Democrat candidate for London mayor Susan Kramer has backed IFAs,calling them ” a crucial part of the financial services sector”.She claims IFAs are necessary to help individuals who do not haveinvestment expertise. Kramer made the comments in an interview withMoneyMarketing while on the last week of campaigning in the race to becomethe capital&#39s mayor.Although […]


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