"I was hoping you wanted a prediction on the price of cigarettes or petrol, or would that be too easy?" – Labour backbencher Ivor Caplin, asked for predictions on the Individual Savings Account.
"You twiddle it at the end and it changes colour, like a lot of things." – Private Label's Stephen Knight describing how his Kaleidoscope mortgage works.
"What is the difference between an actuary and a computer? The computer is more interesting." – Norwich Union training guru Brian Weaver.
"This bulletin is for internal use by DBS members only." – DBS disclaimer on information held on the very private and confidential internet.
"It's best to remain annoymous when it comes to sensible insurance products." – Grip managing director Simon Burgess, the man behind such schemes as insurance for prostitutes and alien abductees.