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Amazing Grace steals the show

MM is too modest to include its own 20th Birthday Somerset House extravaganza in its parties of the year list although it had all the right ingredients – ambulances, chocolate fountains and drunk bucking bronco riding – so here is the run-down.

Number one is the Lifesearch karaoke party with the now famous Austin/Lappin transvestite duet.

Number two goes to the World Poker Champion-ships, – which randomly invited a herd of financial hacks along – mainly for the presence of legendary Grace Jones.

Number three goes to the Lansons’ bash, down on previous years for the lack of controversy, fights and blood spillage.

Fourth is BM Solutions for its Girls Aloud party which also manages to top the slimiest do of 2005, causing revulsion in certain quarters for the bunny girls and casual sexism on display.

“I have arranged to meet my personal trainer over the road so can you interview me while I do a workout. Is that OK?”

Product Innovations managing director David Barclay-Miller”Apparently, the name change happened last week while I was out having a life.”

Member of staff at the DTI, which became the DPEI for a while.

“PIMS is for the posh IFAs. I wasn’t invited.”

Anonymous IFA.

“We are not a cork that bobs around on the sea because of your stories.”

FSA spokesman Robin Gordon-Walker”He had a plethora of knowledge but the presence of a gnat.”

Danish Re’s Michael Connor on a former employer.

“If the sun’s out, have a bottle of wine and get plastered. Don’t worry about the fish.”

Hargreaves Lansdown’s Ben Yearsley on fly fishing.

“I used to believe that octopuses weren’t real, you know, like sea horses.”

Lansons PR Lisa Folwell”I am trying to be taken seriously as a PR so I have to stop appearing in Out of Context.”

Folwell again”I spent the best part of the evening on all fours stroking Justin Urquhart-Stewart’s checkered trousers.”

Mitchell Moneypenny’s Nicola Mitchell”Don’t they look like that odd couple from Little Britain?”

Aegon’s Adrian Cammidge on Richard Wheat and Andrew Appleyard”Some b*****d would get the sack but I’ll have to explain it to his mother tonight.”

David Harrison of Positive Solutions on his son Daniel, for a less than favourable photo used of him.

“She’s like the Scottish Widow, cape billowing behind her, off to buy some fags.”

Scottish Widows’ Neil Cameron on Widows’ PR Angie Kirkwood”I prefer Viz to Money Marketing at the moment as I’d much rather read about two fat slags than the current pension debate.”

Talbot Insurance Services’ partner Howard Cook on his current choice of reading material.

Every year, Money Marketing generously offers the financial services industry the chance to get their own back on us but again you have failed to rise to the challenge although we will let you make your own mind up that what you lack in quantity, you make up for in quality.”I only have one suit and ripped the arm off it, do you know where I can get a new one?”

MM news editor James Phillips greets Clerical Medical’s Gordon McAra in jeans and a hoodie.

“I can be scary sometimes”

MM editor John LappinWin of the year: MM news editor James Phillipps stunned the darting fraternity by beating rotund world champion Andy Fordham with a bullseye. JP literally won the shirt off the big man’s back at Standard Life’s 80th birthday bash and is now the proud owner of the single biggest expanse of polyester in the Western world.

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