A tale of country folk

FundsNetwork executive director David Dalton-Brown has discovered a controversial technique for ridding his Norfolk acreage of an invasion of travelling folk.

Dalton-Brown, having sought the advice of a local farmer, decided that his unwanted visitors might move on a bit more urgently if he borrowed the farmer’s manure sprayer and used it on the field.

“He particularly likes the title because it is abbreviated to GOD.”

Thinc Destini’s Simon Chamberlain on group operations director Roderic Rennison.

“Bring me a bag of chips and gravy and you never know your luck.”

Lansons PR Francesca Pattison.

“Not quite shenanigans but got drunk in Bolton.”

Building Societies’ Association external affairs manager Rachel Blackmore on her birthday celebrations.

“He’s like one of those gremlins – do not water after 11pm.”

Thinc destini’s John Kilburn-Toppin on sales director Nick Boyle, who had strict instructions to remain sober to give an after-dinner speech.

“Anything I say today should not be used against me next year after our policy review.”

LibDem Shadow minister to the ODPM David Howarth.